Inside the Cave

It’s dark.

Somehow, that’s inviting – a place to go where nothing can be seen and where you can’t be seen.  Warm, safe and without answers but no desire to ask questions either.

Inside the cave, I can lose myself in my despair.  I can go round and round in circles with no resolution or meaning to my actions.

Inside the cave, I lose myself from myself.  I doubt who I am and can’t recognise the am that I am being.  I no longer want to find me or know me.

Inside the cave, questions come and opportunities arise.  But the choice is to stay in the dark and ignore the possibilities.  This is easier, more comfortable and fuels the self pity that exists in the cave.

Inside the cave, I see marks of previous visits.  The walls of my despair are scrawled with the memories of past failures, past mistakes and past hurt.  They are familiar and I find comfort within their pictures.

Inside the cave, I can sit alone, be alone and remain alone.  No need to help anyone, be there for anyone or be loved.  Loneliness brings freedom – freedom from dependency, expectations and need.

Inside the cave my life shuts down.

Inside the cave my life has no meaning.

Inside the cave my life has no purpose.

But then….a gentle light flickers….

In the corner of the cave, a flame starts to burn.   Its warmth begins to fill the cave and its light brings the cave into view.  Its crackling fire brings sounds and its smoke wakes my senses.

Then, for the first time, I truly see the cave.

Some drawings on the walls look like plans – diagrams, ideas and directions.  I couldn’t see them in the darkness.  Now the light is shining, I see them.  Now the warmth is present, I feel them.  Now that the sounds are there, I am listening.

Where did the light come from?  Or was it there all along? Was the light within me or was it brought to me through love? Is love within me or outside of me?  Or is it both?

The answer is the same.  I am love.

So yes, the cave is a place where we can go to lose ourselves.  But in losing ourselves for while, we can find ourselves too.  We may need a friend to hold a light of hope and belief.  We may need a member of our family to believe in us.  We may need a complete stranger to join us in the cave for a while and hold our hand.

The cave is not a lonely place.  It’s a place full of light, perspective and opportunity.  It is full of other cave dwellers, also reaching out into the darkness to find their light.  We share the cave with souls that yearn to find meaning, purpose, truth and love.

Inside the cave, lies hope.

Inside the cave, lies opportunity.

Inside the cave, lies discovery.

Inside the cave, new life begins.

I went inside the cave and knew it well for I had been there before.

And just as then, as is now – a friend held a light for me while I lay in the darkness.  Steadfastly, without question and with no expectation, their light, love and knowledge of my soul, shone on my darkness and showed me the way out.

I shall no longer fear the cave when I know there is always light to bring me back.

Inside the cave I found truth.

Inside the cave I found love.

Inside the cave, I found ME!

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